實例解析中考英語作文給分原則(3)

　　張老師點評：從語言上看，這篇文章屬于“不求有功，但求無過”的類型，第三句話對于so…that…句型和until一詞的結合甚至還顯示出相當的功底，這也解釋了為什么它會獲得1分的文采分。但是本文我想要給大家分享的是內容分。這篇文章被扣掉了1分的內容分，同學們能找出來它被扣在了哪里嗎?也就是說這篇文章少了什么要點嗎?給大家5分鐘的時間試一試。

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　　---5min后--

　　找出來了嗎?其實，這篇文章缺少的要點還是挺明顯的：How do you feel when you get love from him/ her/ them?這個要點可能只是一個形容詞，復雜一點也就一個句子而已。但就是少了這一小部分，就被扣掉了1分內容分。要點是最容易得分也最容易扣分的部分，一旦扣分，就會讓學生痛不欲生。迄今為止我已經點評了3篇關于要點的文章，就是希望同學們一定要保持警醒啊!正所謂：“題目字字是珠璣，逐條對應莫大意。”
第五篇：

　　I've been surrounded by love from my family since I was born. For example, my grandma often stays in the kitchen all day long, cooking foods which are healthy and delicious for me. My father isn't good at expressing his emotions, but my mom said that he always kissed me good-night without letting me know at night. I didn't know that at all because I was sleeping! I feel happy when I get sweet love from my family. My family members are the only people who are willing to sacrifice for you for nothing in this world! Of course I love them too, and I'm going to show my love by caring for them as much as I can. I'll wash bowls after meals, chat with them and make them laugh. Studying hard and make them pleased with me is also a good way to show my love. I will cherish the love around me forever!

　　【實際得分:滿分】

　　張老師點評: 這篇文章亮點太多,只能在原文上批注.請看下圖:

　　同時,必須要說明的是:這并不是一篇完美的文章。

　　一方面，文章中是有2處錯誤的，我已經在圖片上注明，所以并不是一定要完美的文章才能得滿分，只要有足夠的亮點即可;

　　另一方面，文章太長(156w)，超過答題卷的范圍太多，可以想象它超出的部分肯定是非常擁擠且字很小的，如果不是這篇文章實在太精彩，想拿高分恐怕也很難。

　　正所謂：萬綠叢中幾點紅，哪怕葉上毛毛蟲……
 

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